Becoming a Man

Sean Johnson, a pastor and a friend of mine at Northwest Community Church, has been speaking a lot lately in the young adults group about the role of a man as a leader of a household. Since I’m not in that position, nor am I in a relationship of any sort, I can ask myself, “What do I need to do RIGHT NOW to prepare myself for a calling such as this?”

Sean covered three main points of responsibility that the man will have in a marriage relationship. These are the priest/prophet, the provider, and the protector. As a priest and a prophet, a man must be able to know the word of God and teach it to others, as well as lead his family in the way of the Lord. As a provider, the man is called to provide for his family in both a monetary way, i.e. “bringing home the bacon,” but also for any other needs, such as emotional and time-based needs. As a protector, the man must make sure his family, especially his wife, feel protected at all times. This does not mean a simple physical security; rather, it covers a wide range of protection needs. I’ll elaborate a little later.


Here are the ways I’ve decided I can strive towards these goals.

1. Priest and prophet: I must devote energy to studying and understanding God’s word. As I stand right now, I do a pathetically small amount of this. I must increase in my knowledge if I am to teach others at some point.

Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

2. Provider: This is a relatively simple (theoretically speaking) goal for me right now. I must diligently work towards a solid education--one that will give me a chance to succeed in my field of choice once I graduate in a timely manner. This means I have an obligation to avoid slacking on homework and other school assignments.

3. Protector: Since I’m not the head of the household I live in right now, I am not responsible for the main preservation aspects of it. I can do my part, however, to make sure my mom and family in general feel protected by the knowledge that I will not only protect them from bodily harm, when needed, but the knowledge that I will carry out any assigned tasks in the household in a timely manner, so that I can prove that I am worthy of being trusted in larger matters. (Excuse the possible run-on sentence, I’m typing this late at night.)


I hope that my brothers and sisters in Christ (and yes, this means even my siblings) will try to help me in my goals here. This means I am officially opening myself to constructive criticism or rebuke. I hate being told what to do, especially when I have my own agenda and timetable, so this is going to be a serious exercise in humility.

A man’s responsibility is to serve his household, not lord over it in a domineering way. This means making his own priorities the lowest, and the priorities of others around him the highest. Honestly speaking, I am a very selfish person. I pray that this can change in some way, and that I may become more like Christ as I get older. For now, I merely wish to have a modest, distinct set of maturity goals, with direct methods for achieving said goals.